Elvis is Dead Yet Again

I get my hair done (as in go to the groomers) about once every 8 weeks. Gretchen gets hers done every 5 weeks, except recently. Recently she hasn’t had the time and the longer she waits, the taller her hair gets and by tall, I mean Elvis tall. In fact, that’s what we call her around here — Elvis — especially after she wakes up. I laugh every time I see her — tall woman with big hair.

Today her hair was so big I tactfully encouraged her to wear a hat. “Don’t you want to hide that Elvis thing you got going on there?” I said.

“Wow, that was sensitive,” she responded.

“Well, someone has to tell you the truth,” I said.

“You’ll be happy to know, Mr. Curly Curls, I’m getting my haircut this afternoon,” she informed me.

“There is a Dog,” I said and then we both kind of giggled.

Before the afternoon arrived though, we had to complete our daily walks and because her hair was really big, everyone of our clients commented.

First up was Monty. “Hey, Gretchen, I like your big top!” he said, but the funny thing is, he really meant it because he, too, kind of has a big top thingy going on.

“Thanks, Monty,” Gretchen responded and then gave me a look. “See, not everyone thinks I look like Elvis.”

Yes, well, I guess his thinking that you look like a circus tent is an improvement, but I kept my lips closed.

Gretchen walked Oshi and Perrito while Monty and I ate brunch and took a little rest. Since the boys’ hair grows as quickly as Gretchen’s they were quick to point out, “At least it’s just on your head!” Good observation.

Monty and I got to walk Gertie after that and the three of us headed down to the lake where the ducks splashed around in the water behind us.  It was hard to keep our attention focused on the camera, but once we did, Gertie noticed Gretchen’s hair, too. “You know what they say,” Gertie asked.

“No,” I replied, “I know they say a lot of things, but which thing are you referring to?”

“The bigger the hair, the closer to Dog,” she smiled and with that, the three of us laughed.

“Hey, are you laughing at me?” Gretchen asked.

“No,” Gertie said, “We’re laughing next to you!” That Gertie is quite the clown!

Monty and I rested again while Gretchen walked Gemma and Saber together. Surprisingly, they did everything they could not to look at Gretchen’s hair. Gemma emailed me later and said, “We were afraid we’d laugh so hard we’d fall off the boulder she had us precariously perched on!”

Monty and I got kind of tired of talking about Gretchen’s hair and besides, the sun was out and there’s nothing better than lying on the warm back deck with your best buddy!

And finally, I got to walk with Paige and she was perhaps the kindest one of all of us. “No one likes to be laughed at,” Paige said to me. “Besides, wouldn’t you rather look out for cats and squirrels than focus on Elvis?”

Very good point!

Luckily, Elvis is dead since Gretchen finally got her hair cut today. Hopefully she made another appointment in another 5 weeks so Elvis can remain dead once and for all in this house.

Until tomorrow,

Rubin