Unpleasantries

Our life is not all roses and wagging tails. I want to be clear about this. There are numerous unpleasantries and most of them revolve around dog poo and pee. I won’t go into it, but let me just say that sometimes things don’t work out the way we’d envisioned…

…like being peed on (my head, Gretchen’s foot…)…or stepping in poo…or cleaning poo off a dog’s behind…

Whoa whoa whoa, Rubin…I thought you weren’t going to go into it?

Well, I just wanted to let folks know that we aren’t without mishap.

I get that, but I’m not sure you have be so descriptive.

Well, how do you suggest we discuss the not so pleasant parts of our job?

I guess I wouldn’t discuss them.

Gee, that doesn’t seem like a good idea.

Why is that?

Well, people don’t get a good feeling about what it’s like to be a dog dog walker (like I am) or a human dog walker like you are. They only get the happy photos and stories about our days and they miss the hard work involved.

True, but can’t we tell them about the hard work without having to describe the unpleasant details?

Hm, I’m not sure how to do that without discussing poo and pee. And frankly, I’m not sure why you humans have such an aversion to discussing those facts of our lives.

I’m not sure it’s an aversion. It has more to do with being thoughtful and respectful of our audience.

Okay, I get that, but I just want to make certain they understand that some days are harder than others.

True, but it’s not just the pee and poo that makes our job hard.

I know, but frankly sometimes it’s the pee and poo unpleasantness that I remember the most.

That’s just because Tyson accidentally peed on your head and you had to have a bath.

It’s not just about me. Monty had kind of a mess on his behind that you had to clean up and then I stepped in my own poo.

Okay okay…I get it. Yes, sometimes those yucky things happen, but it’s not like every day I’m having to wipe bottoms or hose off my shoes.

I guess this week was particularly yucky in terms of pee and poo and so I’m kind of focused on it.

I can see that, but there are other unpleasantries as well.

Like what?

Like having my shoulder partially dislocated every time you see a squirrel…

Hey, it’s not just me!

I know.

After meeting Carter this week, I think your shoulder dislocations can be attributed to his enthusiasm.

Well, he can get rather excited about life and by the way, you did a good job meeting both Carter and Kali this week.

I really like Kali and I’m learning to enjoy Carter.

A bit forward for your tastes, is he?

Well, you know how I feel about dogs racing up to me and smelling my privates.

More unpleasantries, eh?

Well, you have your pet peeves, too.

Yes, drivers texting or on their cellphones and speeding through intersections or red lights.

Or unruly dogs off-leash.

I don’t mind dogs off-leash, but I do mind when they don’t listen to their owners yelling at them to “Come Come Come” and they never do.

Wait, I can be like that.

You were like that, but you are much much better.

Thanks to your homemade turkey treats!

You really like those, don’t you?

They are, dare I say, the most pleasant part of my day recently.

Food in general has become important to you.

Why do you say that?

Oh, little boy, you make me laugh. It wasn’t that long ago that getting you to eat was the toughest part of my day.

Oh yeah. What’s changed?

I’m not sure, but I like the new eating-machine you’ve become.

Me too though last weekend I had a bit of a glitch in my system.

More unpleasantries.

Well, I couldn’t help it. I had an upset tummy and throwing up just felt like the right thing to do.

I know. I felt bad for you.

Is that why you slept on the couch with me and worked my acupressure points?

Yep. I hate it when you feel miserable.

I feel the same.

Thanks, but thankfully (knock on wood) I haven’t been sick in awhile.

It’s all that walking you do.

Ha! You’re probably right. And spending time with you and all your canine friends, that’s the best medicine of life.

Well, aren’t we getting sentimental. Maybe I should change the title of the blog to Pleasantries!

That’s my point, Rubin. I think our lives are filled with things that are far more pleasant than unpleasant. Sure there’s wind and speeding drivers and poo and pee accidents and the very unpleasant mess of vomit, but there’s also laughter and sunshine and music and long walks and wagging tails and new friends and those unexpected moments that make us smile.

You forgot rain.

What?

In your list of things that aren’t so pleasant, you forgot to mention rain.

(Sigh)We’re supposed to be focusing on the pleasantries of life, not yucky stuff like rain.

I know, but I just want everyone to realize that it’s been raining.

We live in Seattle, Rubin. Everyone assumes it’s always raining.

This week I’m beginning to think they’re right.

Actually, it didn’t rain as much this week as I was thinking it would.

Well, watch out for next week. Have you see the weather forecast?

No, that’s an unpleasantry I avoid.

It’s not always unpleasant.

Which side are you on, little fella? First you focus on the bad stuff, then you only focus on the good and when I start to focus on the good, you point out the bad.

I just want to keep you on your toes.

(Sigh) Sometimes you are exhausting.

Good thing you love me.

Yes, lucky for you it’s one of the most pleasant aspects of my life.

(Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle).

Onward and Upward!

Rubin