Sweet Stickiness

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”

A.A. Milne

There is the thing and then there is the meaning of the thing. Heart. An organ, an essential element to the living, in the living — beating, pumping, keeping the living organ alive.

Then there is the Heart – holding more than blood and oxygen — holding love, friendship, loss, and as Piglet astutely noticed, gratitude.

I have been thinking about the capacity of the Heart both in function and in metaphor, though to be honest, it is the metaphor that interests me most. Simply put, my heart is full and during this past week, I’ve been doing my best to count the blessings populating my heart. These blessings are summed up in family and friends, but on a much deeper level — the level at which the metaphor and the function become one — my heart is filled with an awareness of how my family and friends provide my heart with weight and substance – with the physics of my existence as it were.

Granted, like Piglet my heart is relatively small compared to a human heart or to the heart of most of my larger friends — Monty, Paige, Tyson, Woobie, and Roux for instance. But each of us has the limitless capacity to fill our hearts and still have space for infinitely more. I’m not sure how it all works, but there are moments in my life when I think my heart is full, about to bust at the seams, and then something else wiggles in and I can feel my heart actually expand.

Let me start with this moment: I met Max in January of this year. He’s been through so much and yet his heart was always open for any love he could both give and receive. There have been times during the past 5 months when I thought for certain he was moving onto the place where all true and honest hearts go, but amazingly, Max is still with us. He’s moved, recently, finding a new home with the Vashon Island Pet Protectors.  We thought he was going to return to the pool for much needed swim and massage therapy, but his skin infections returned and so we wait for healing so he can begin again.

Still, when I heard that Max’s heart was still beating in this world I could feel my own heart open just a smidgen more. Ironically, my tail appears to be connected to my heart because when Gretchen told me Max was going to return to Wellsprings K9, I could feel my wagging tail and my heart beating all in the same rhythm.

We’re still awaiting photos of Max from his new foster family, but until then, the ones we have we’ll have to fill your hearts as much as they fill mine.

Then my dear friend Rosie passed and my heart felt heavy with grief and sadness. Surprisingly, though it did not shrink, which is what I thought it would do when suffering such a blow. In fact, my heart grew with the pain of her absence –  hollow at first, but luckily, her brother Tyson has helped me fill the void with our new fond friendship. Both of us, though will always have a place in our hearts for the memory of that sweet girl.

And speaking of Tyson, his parents have been in France for two weeks now and have one more week to go before they come home. We’ve been taking care of Tyson and this means we’ve been hanging out together more than usual. I think Gretchen was a bit worried because sometimes I can get jealous and not want to share my moms or my things or even my time with a dog for too long. But Tyson and I, over the course of these two weeks, have grown pretty fond of each other. Sure, we’ve had a few tussles — establishing how we want to be together — but all and all, I’ve come to realize that Tyson has stretched my heart to an even larger capacity.

When Gretchen is at his house and I am here with Ann at our house and then Gretchen returns to our house in the mornings with Tyson in tow, I find that my body wriggles with the beating of my happy heart. Yes, I’m happy to see Gretchen, but I’m equally happy to see Tyson. We give each other a small head butt and then bump bodies while our tails communicate our heart’s intentions. Even I have to admit it’s kind of sweet.

But while these are extraordinary moments, even the smaller ones have the same gravity for me. Take Monty, for instance. He’s known me longer than anyone, and yet every day that we’re together, our bond is deepened. Our hearts, as it were, overflow.

And then there’s the crossing over of heart connections. Tyson sometimes has a hard time with large male dogs, but he and Monty are fast becoming good friends. When Tyson and I head over to Monty’s house and Monty comes out leashed up and ready for adventure, the wagging tails and prancing stances are mirrors of our hearts. And when we walk – the three of us side by side — it’s often hard for me to tell whose heart I’m hearing — mine or theirs — because the happy dance of every thump thump thump is almost identical.

Roux’s heart beats wildly with happiness. When she knows we’re arriving, her heart launches into a loud and elated song of barking. She can hardly contain herself and I swear on occasion, I’ve seen her heart beat right out of her chest with excitement. There are times when I am with Roux that I wish I could just put my paws on her shoulders, make her settle for just a minute or two so I could actually  measure her heart. I bet it is HUGE in the metaphorical sense because every moment of every day, Roux has her heart open wide waiting for the filling to commence. Imagine the capacity of a heart like that?

Woobie is the same. When we arrive on the doorstep we can hear her whining from behind the door. When the door opens, she bursts through it with such glee we can only smile (though I’ll admit that sometimes I growl because it overwhelms me!). Sometimes I worry that her heart will break down the door before Gretchen can get it unlocked, but luckily, Woobie’s heart has remained in her chest (physically) though it’s definitely right out front when she greets us (metaphorically!).

And that overlapping happens again. Woobie loves Monty and Monty feels the same. Woobie has even grown to like spending time with Tyson though they don’t have a lot of opportunities to spend time together.

Which I suppose goes to show that the heart is elastic in many ways. Its form depends on the shape of the love that penetrates it. Certainly there is some love that carries more weight than other though I hate to quantify love in any way. Still, I know the weight of family love expands my heart in a different way than making a new friend. And then there’s the kind of transformational period when friends became family and the love changes in weight and texture, filling my heart with a bit warmer glow.

My Aunt Debbie’s short visit over the weekend made me aware of this. I’ve met her once before, and while I was a little shy at first, once I realized she was in the circle of family, my heart pushed open and grew much like the sun on the horizon does every morning. When you feel that kind of love, you can only smile and hopefully everyone knows that a smile is simply a mirror to the heart (as is the tail…though humans don’t get to experience the joy of wagging their tails. Their loss!)

Aunt Debbie brought photos of her dogs, too — Harley and Rover. I don’t know either of them, but Gretchen says she has a special place in her heart for Harley since they bonded together in an acupressure workshop in Phoenix last February. I can see why…he’s a handsome fellow!

And these are just the beings in my life that fill up my heart. Moments do too. Swimming in the lake doubles the size of my heart. Same with playing in my own little pool in the backyard or playing with all of my toys. A long walk (especially off leash) through the woods or by the lake or even to the scenic vistas of our fair city enlarge my heart.

Some food can do the same. Ice cream on a warm day (doggie ice cream!), raw chicken necks (dog candy, I call them), freeze dried bison lung, and homemade chicken jerky may not be as significant in my life as my friends and family, but trust me, they fill my heart (and my stomach) in a way that is equally important!

But despite the abundance in my heart, there is always room for gratitude. Gretchen tells me that gratitude is like ice cream — even when you’re stomach is full, you always have room for ice cream. And she’s right — even though my heart is filled with love, the ice cream of gratitude seeps in between the crevices –a sweet stickiness that binds it all together.

Have a great weekend everyone and may the world of life and love fill up your hearts, too!

Rubin

]]> http://www.wagsnwords.com/2012/05/may-18-2012/feed/ 1 http://www.wagsnwords.com/2012/05/may-11-2012/ http://www.wagsnwords.com/2012/05/may-11-2012/#comments Fri, 11 May 2012 20:07:29 +0000 Rubin http://www.wagsnwords.com/?p=14688 Read more →

Houses Divided

This year we decided to add some pet sitting services to our already busy schedule. I’m not complaining. It’s fun to have dogs at our house and to stay at other people’s houses. I mean, I get to test out new couches (if they let me), nibble on their treats (if they share), and spend time with my friends.

Of course, it’s not as easy as it sounds. First, sometimes I stay at my house with Momma Ann because she has to get up early in the morning and head off to school to teach. Sleeping in someone else’s bed is harder on her than it is on me. So she isn’t lonely, I stay at home with her.

Next, much of what we need must be carried over from one house to the next. It’s not too much work for me…my food, my supplements, and my favorite toys…but for Gretchen it’s a lot more work. Her food isn’t as simple as mine nor are her supplements, and though she doesn’t have any toys she has things that weigh a lot more than my stuff. Like her computer, her acupressure books (she’s still studying), her shoes (those for walking, those for hanging out), and all sorts of stuff that is usually at her fingertips at home, but not when she’s staying somewhere else.

Currently, we’re pet sitting Tyson and we’re having a great time. Tyson doesn’t live far away so if Gretchen forgets something at our house, she can pick it up pretty easily. I’ve stayed there a couple of nights, but mostly I’ve just hung out during the day time. Occasionally Tyson and I bump elbows, but all in all, we’re getting along famously.

This is important for Tyson because he struggles a bit with separation anxiety and he’s just lost his best pal and sister, Rosie. Being at Tyson’s house has given us a lot of time to reminisce about our good friend, Rosie. There isn’t a day goes by that Tyson and I (and Gretchen too) don’t think about Rosie. We miss her very much, but remembering all of our good times has helped with our sadness.

I’ve even invited some friends over to help Tyson with his loneliness. First came Monty and he made himself right at home.

We had a nice walk together and then we rested at Tyson’s house. He shared not only his toys with us, he also shared his many luxurious resting spots.

It was a great way to spend an afternoon!

Then we walked to Woobie’s house and went on a very long walk. Tyson really liked her, but Woobie was a little uncertain. She clung close to me and I did my best to reassure her.

While the weather hasn’t been stunning, some of the foliage has and there’s nothing like a pretty flower to lift your spirits.

Monty came back on Friday and Tyson was truly happy to see him especially since we went for a long long walk down by the lake.

Tyson also really likes Ann and some days we hung out at our house where Tyson and Ann snuggled together and when Gretchen went off to work at the pool, Ann and I hung out with Tyson at his house.

But I can’t forget Roux! We saw her this week too and while she didn’t get to met Tyson (he goes off with his other dog walker to the off-leash park so he’s not around in the middle of the day), we got to go on a great walk in the sunshine. One day she may meet Tyson and I bet they’d both be happy about the new friendship!

I know everyone thinks my life is all fun and games, but living in two houses isn’t always easy. I’m learning to relax at Tyson’s more but sometimes it’s hard. He lives in a town home and there are strange noises all around us. Of course, when Tyson comes to our house he gets worried about the squirrels that run along our fence line and the kids who attend the preschool behind our house.

But as the days past, we’re getting more and more comfortable with the new routine. While both Tyson and I were closer to Rosie than we are to each other, we’re beginning to realize that Rosie loved each of us for a reason and we’re also realizing that those reasons are the foundation of a really good friendship.

So while our houses are divided…or at least our time is divided between two houses … there’s a good feeling of coming together.

Have a great weekend,

Rubin

That which isn’t there…

I came across a word I was unfamiliar with the other day.

Oasis

“What’s that word mean?” I asked Gretchen. I was expecting her to answer with her usual teacher response (“Look it up!”) but she humored me and answered.

“Well, literally it means a place in the desert where you can find water and shade. But it can have another meaning as well, one that isn’t so literal.”

“Like what?” I asked, curious.

“Like a place of refuge…somewhere where you can feel renewed and refreshed and it’s not always a place like a destination, but more like a feeling.”

Now I was really confused. “Please explain,” I asked.

“Well for me, for instance, music is kind of an oasis. If I’m feeling stressed or overworked or sad, I can listen to music and it soothes and nourishes me,” she explained.

“And nature does that, too, right?”

“Yep, I love to be outside to feel revived,” she said and then added, “Just like you.”

It’s true. I find nourishment on a deep level when I am outside, especially if I’m allowed to be off leash. In fact, Gretchen knows how important it is for me so she does her best to get me out in the woods without my leash at least once a day.

“Okay, I understand,” I said, “But I was wondering, is an oasis, the literal kind, always a place of water and shade in the desert?”

“Interesting question,” Gretchen replied. “Are you thinking of something specific?”

I was. It’s true. “Well, can it be a place that is dry as in without water (as in rain) and no shade (as in the sun)?”

“Kind of like a reverse oasis?” Gretchen smiled.

Yes, that’s exactly what I was looking for. A place where there isn’t much rain and the warmth of the sun spreads over my entire body.

“Well, Rubin,” Gretchen said, “I sure hope there’s such a place because after this winter and so-called spring, a bit of sun and warmth would do us both some good!”

I suppose I shouldn’t complain. We had an amazing weekend last week — warm, sunny, temperatures in the 70s — and my buddy Monty (who spent the weekend with us) and I lounged on the warm deck and went on long, warm walks soaking up every oasis-like moment of it.

And then I realized there are oases all around me. Momma Ann is an amazing gardener and she’s been working hard to keep our garden in tip top shape. She doesn’t care what the weather is like in her oasis of blossoms and buds and though my pleasures in the garden are that I like to dig in the dirt, I still truly appreciate the beauty of our little oasis especially in the spring time!

We really enjoyed the beautiful flowers in our garden that were soaking up the sunshine and warmth as well.

Even the bugs were loving it! (We found this guy on our front door…and he stayed there for the whole week!).

But the weekend and early week sunshine faded and we were confronted with rain and the treat of thunderstorms and ice pellets later in the week.

ICE PELLETS! There are no ice pellets in my oasis.

What is in my oasis? Sun, of course, and more importantly my friends. I have a lot of friends and they make my life glorious — a refuge in the desert so-to-speak. This week I kind of needed them because, while the weather was wonderful until about Tuesday, it quickly went downhill and so, I feared, would my spirits.

But on Wednesday, my possible plunge into gloom was averted when I got to hang out with my buddies Monty and Paige…

…and we got to run around and be crazy…which in my book is another form of an oasis…

And we went for along walk by the watery oasis of the lake with Woobie who refused, despite all efforts, to look at the camera though eventually she did…

…and at night, I saw my dear old friend Quillette and her mom and some neighbor friends who all came over for dinner…and Q found an oasis on my favorite bed…

…and then Thursday I got to hang out just with Gretchen (we had no dogs to walk) and that was just as amazing as hanging out with my friends…

…and then, much to my surprise, we had house guests — Porter and Porcini — who provided lively entertainment and a promise of a busy Friday…

We went for a walk by the lake early Friday morning. These little guys can really move and their ears! I did my best to get my ears to go up, but alas…

…Friday that was filled with short-nosed dog adventures…

,

a “Dalmatian” poodle (yes, Monty is often confused in this way), a beautiful Boxer (yep Tyson is a beauty in many ways)…

and another night sleeping in different beds (Porcini is kind of a bed hog!).

Whew!

I’ve decided that an oasis can present itself in many forms and if you aren’t paying attention, you’ll pass the refuge by. And often, when you least suspect it or think you don’t need it, an oasis will present itself even if it’s in the form of that which isn’t there (like the lack of sunshine!)

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rubin

Haunted by Pink

I’m not a guy who goes for pink. I know most of you know this, but I thought I better be clear about it. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against pink it’s just that pink isn’t my color. I’m more of a blue or green or on daring occasions, red kind of guy. But pink just doesn’t jive with my curls or my attitude.

That said I’ve noticed that lately pink has been everywhere. Sure, it’s the color choice in fashion, but it’s not fashion that’s caught my attention. It’s nature. I guess I’ve never realized that there’s a lot of pink in nature.

Much like learning a new word and then hearing it everywhere, once I realized pink was a dominate spring color I’ve been haunted by pink. Sometimes it’s been an obvious pink and other times just a hint of pink, but regardless, everywhere I turn I find something pink.

There’s been so much pink, in fact, I decided this week to just open myself up to pink in every possible way. I think what’s surprised me the most about this new attitude is that I’ve come to realize that pink is not just a color of a flower or a shade in the clouds.

Pink is a moment.

I used to think of pink with my stomach. I had a visceral reaction to it every time I saw it. “Blech!” I’d say, or “Eck!” blown over by it’s pinkness, it’s need to be a soft pink or a bright pink or a pink without any consciousness about the colors around it.

In other words, pink made me ill and so I turned my head or closed my eyes or walked fast past the pink signs or the pink plastic wrap or the pink sweatpants every single girl seems to be wearing these days.

But the other day we were on a walk by the lake (one of my all-time favorite walks!) and Gretchen took this photo…

…yes, she tweaked it with her photo program and saturated the colors a bit, but what really popped out at me was the pink of the cherry trees.

“Wow,” I said to Gretchen, “That’s so beautiful!”

She had to agree and then said, “And it wouldn’t be so beautiful if it weren’t for the pink.”

My Dog! She was absolutely correct. The pink made the photo and that’s when I started watching for pink in the rest of my life. And let me tell you, PINK IS EVERYWHERE!! Especially in the spring.

And that’s when something switched in my head and pink started popping up in all sorts of ways. Yes, I’d see it in the flowers and in the sky, but then pink moments started happening to me.

For instance, on the walk by the lake we met two dogs — Vara and her father, Jake. At first, I wasn’t very excited about meeting them especially Vara who poked her face in my business without even a hint of an invitation. But then we walked along the lake and finally up to the big field and that’s when Vara won over my heart.

She chased me!

I love a game of chase and Vara was a champ at it. No doubt because of her herding nature and the fact that with my new haircut I look like a baby lamb, but we hit it off the moment the game started until the game ended.

Jake didn’t chase me a lick, but his dad said that in his day Jake was quite a herder. Still, Jake watched as his daughter gave me a run for my money.

And when we both tired ourselves out, that’s when it hit me that pink was as much a moment or a feeling as it was a color.

Dare I say, I was pink with joy and once I allowed myself to feel it, I spent the rest of the week searching for more pink moments and looking back on all the pink moments I’ve ever had in my life.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you with the plethora of pinkness I found in my life, but suffice it to say that once you open yourself up to the power of pink there’s no turning back.

For instance, when Gretchen and I were combing through the photos we wanted to include on this blog, she showed me this one from the weekend with my grandparents…

…this was a pink moment. Actually, this was a moment that epitomized the pinkness of a weekend with my grandparents where I get so much love and attention my pink heart just wants to burst! And to top it all off we get to walk at the Fairgrounds where I chase squirrels and yes, pose in front of funny buildings.

There were other pink moments to the week as well…finding this crazy wall of painted flowers as Monty and I wandered through Fremont together…

Or the hint of pink (red actually, but you get the idea) in the tulip by the lake…

…chuckling at Tyson who was worried, as we posed for a photo on the dock on a very windy day that the waves under the dock were going to get him…

…enjoying the pink blossoms again by the water while simultaneously enjoying my time with Tyson…

…my long, long walk with Woobie and Monty…

Another nice long walk down by the lake with Monty and Tyson and hints of pink everywhere…

…as in my pink tongue…

…and the pink stripe of the boat at Tyson’s head…

…even the weeds were pink!

…and Monty Pink with excitement as the cars drove by on the wet pavement (something he’s obsessed with!)

Yes, pink is everywhere and I am learning to embrace it. Of course, it would be a bit easier to embrace if we had a bit more sun, but alas, I can’t push the pink can I?

Have a great pink weekend!

Rubin

Superstitions

Hey Rubin…

Yes, Gretchen?

Do you have any superstitions?

Wow, what brought that up?

I don’t know. I was just thinking about mine.

Yours? I’m confused. I thought you were asking me for something.

What do you mean?

Well, I suppose I should confess that I’m not sure what you mean by “superstitions.”

Oh, sorry buddy. A superstition is a belief that doing something or seeing something will cause something that’s really unrelated to the thing you see or do.

Examples please.

Okay. Some people believe that if you open an umbrella in the house you’ll have bad luck or if you crack a mirror you’ll have 7 years of bad luck.

Weird.

I suppose but I was just thinking about how you always avoid the heating vent in the hallway and I was wondering if you had some superstition about it.

No, not really. It’s just evil and scary.

How so?

First, it’s like 4 times larger than any of the other heating vents in our house and it sucks in air, it doesn’t blow it out.

True, but how does that make it evil?

Next, it reminds me of those grates on the sidewalk. You know the ones you keep trying to get me to walk on to build up my confidence?

Well, I just want you to know that nothing bad will happen to you when you walk on them.

You walk on them barefoot and tell me that.

Good point.

So no, I don’t think I have any superstitions. Do you?

Not really.

When you count steps is that a superstition?

No, that’s just obsessive compulsive.

What’s that?

Oh Rubin…that’s too much to go into on a blog.

Okay fine, but why did you ask me about Superstitions?

Well because today is Friday the 13th and some people don’t like this day. They think it’s filled with bad omens.

That’s just silly! Don’t they know that time is a human construct?

Wow, you impress me sometimes.

Only sometimes?

On a daily basis you always do impressive things, but when you pull such big ideas out of your curly head then I’m really wowed.

I do a lot of reading.

Which in and of itself is impressive.

Why?

Most dogs don’t spend their days reading.

How do you know?

Good point. I don’t. Do your dog friends read?

Yes. In fact just the other day, Paige and I were discussing the benefits of sunshine after I read an article that people who live in the Northwest don’t get enough Vitamin D.

Had Paige heard of the study?

No, but I sent her the article and she’s reading it now and next time, when we go for a play date we’re going to talk about it.

How about Monty? Does he read, too?

Oh yes! Monty is the one who taught me the importance of reading.

What’s he reading these days?

How to talk with your groomer.

Seriously?

Yes! Monty loves Liliana and loves going to Dog Mania…

Unlike some dogs I know!

Hey, I love Liliana, too, I just don’t like being primped and snipped and squeezed and shampooed.

Maybe you should read the article Monty just read.

That’s the point. He was reading the article to help me and to find out how to explain to Liliana that he didn’t like so high of a poodle-do on top of his head.

Did it help?

You tell me.

Does Roux read?

Yes, but she’s more into graphic novels and vintage comics.

Really?

Yep. She’s kind of an expert in the topic and often quotes passages from “Duncan the Wonder Dog.”

I’ve never heard of that book.

See, I told you she was at the forefront of the graphic novel world.

How about Tyson?…Rubin, are you okay?

Yes, I’m just sad. I love Tyson, but whenever I think of him I think of my dear friend, Rosie who is no longer with us.

Yes, her passing has been hard on all of us.

Recently Tyson has been reading about grief, but he also likes to read fishing magazines.

Curious.

Well, his Dad likes to fish and Tyson is hoping one day he can go with him and catch a big, fat trout in a raging river.

That sounds like fun. I hope it happens for Tyson one day.

And Woobie, she’s reading about living with a baby!

I bet she is…now that her mom is pregnant, I bet she’s reading everything she can get her paws on about babies.

She’ll be a most excellent big sister, don’t you agree?

Absolutely.

And Woobie’s reading all about gardening as well.

Is that because her parents have turned their yard into a HUGE garden?

Yep and Woobie is supervising so she wants to know exactly when to plant the potatoes and what’s the best way to plant rutabagas.

Do you really think they’re going to plant rutabaga?

You never know!

True, but I don’t think a lot of people plant rutabagas.

Why? Is there some superstition about them?

Probably although I don’t know of one.

I have a question though.

Yes.

Do you have some kind of superstition about your food bowl?

No. Why do you ask?

Well, I’ve just noticed that when you eat…

And I’m eating so much better now, aren’t I?

Yes, why is that?

Because you finally figured out that there are certain things in my food that I MUST have.

Oh like chicken necks, oregano, and salt?

Yep…or I like sardines, too.

You’re welcome.

But you were saying…my food bowl and superstitions?

Well, I’ve noticed that you like to pick you food bowl up by the very edge and carry it to a different place in the kitchen or sometimes you even take it to another room. Why is that?

Oh that. My bowl tends to move around a lot…have you noticed? So when I find it difficult to get my tongue in the last corner, I pick it up and move it to someplace else hoping that it won’t move around so much. And sometimes I just like to move it to a sunny spot.

Sunny spots. Thankfully we’re having more of those these days.

Yep and it’s great to eat my breakfast or my dinner (now that the sun is staying around longer) in the warmth of the sun.

I couldn’t agree more.

Do you think that’s a superstition?

I don’t care if it is or if it isn’t…sunshine and food go wonderfully together and if it is a superstition it isn’t about bad luck or demons.

Nope! It’s about good food, good light, and happiness.

Happy Friday the 13th little fella!

Same to you, Gretchen.

A Rosie Outlook – In Memoriam

My friends teach me many things. Monty has taught me to be respectful of my elders and yet not lose my goofiness. Woobie has taught me how to lie stretched out and relaxed on a cool wood floor during the hot summer months. Paige has taught me how to sniff out adventure and grab every minute and run playfully through the woods with my happiness spread wide across my wild face. Roux has taught me to find joy in new friendships. And Tyson has taught me to walk tall, with my head up and enjoy the scent of a new day.

And then there is Rosie.

When we first met her I was a little shy. We were told she can be dog aggressive so Gretchen waited a year before we were introduced. On that day of introductions, I was slightly nervous to meet her but when she wiggled her little stump of a tail at me and smiled her lippy grin, I knew Rosie and I would be fast friends.

Rosie began as a dog we walked every day – Monday through Friday. We don’t do that with all our dog walking clients, but for Rosie it was a time to get some exercise as well as a time practicing being calm around things like cats and other female dogs. Soon, though, Rosie became a part of our family as she wormed her wriggly body into our hearts quickly and with everlasting permanence.

What Rosie has taught me is love. Yes, I’ve learned of love from many others in my life both canine and human, but with Rosie I learned that love just isn’t about hearts and unconditional commitments. It’s about time and patience, difficult moments and lazy ones as well. It’s about walking side by side and letting your bodies bump into each other or staring patiently at crows, counting the seconds together before you lunge and bark at them.

Love is about walking across a wide open field and just when the other least expects it, pouncing down into a play bow and then spinning wildly at the end of the leash hoping that your pal will join in. It’s about sharing a warm place on the couch or allowing your buddy to have the last snack. It’s about big grins and serious eyes. It’s about gray muzzles and floppy ears.

And it’s about being there in the most difficult of times.

The past two months of Rosie’s life have been an odd mixture of mystery and illness. No one has been able to put the pieces together until the last few days when Rosie’s decline became rapid and painful. We all noticed the differences — a shifting limp in the front legs, the inability to see a treat when offered, stumbling up the stairs, and most recently, yelping in pain.

The vets had different theories and most of them focused on her lower back. Rosie had been through a lot in her life — rescued on the side of the road after being hit by a car, reconstructive surgery of her hind leg, removal of tumors and lumps, and various other bumps and bruises. She walked liked she was dancing a jig and our favorite moments was when she lifted her leg to pee and both back legs raised up off the ground — a hand-stand pee. It was impressive.

So yes, that her lower back would be in pain and causing her to stumble or suppressing her hunger made sense. But then the decline happened quickly and she was rushed off to a critical care facility where she received an MRI that clearly showed a glioma deep in her brain.

The decision to let Rosie go was difficult and painful, but it was clear she was in pain and rapidly deteriorating.

She passed away peacefully at 9:30 Friday morning…surrounded by those who loved her including her brother, Tyson who stood over her body quiet in his protection as she crossed over.

Gretchen was there and I was there in spirit. Monty was there with me as well for he loved Rosie as much (if not more) than I did. When we rounded the corner to her house on the days we walked her together, Monty pulled at the leash and pranced and danced as we walked up their driveway.

We were always happy to see Rosie and she was equally joyous. You could not know Rosie and not love her — that’s how much love she held within her. Sure, she wanted to chase after the cats (particularly all the ones who lived on her block) and yes, you had to be careful around female dogs, but I figure that we all have our quirks and those were Rosie’s.

I will remember those quirks, but mostly I will remember her rosy outlook on life. She was aptly named becasue there was never a day when Rosie didn’t greet each moment with a smile. Perhaps she knew how much each of us needed her joyful and playful approach to the world. Tyson, her brother, needed it perhaps the most.

Tyson is a worrier, but with Rosie by his side he learned to see the lighter side of the day. She’d punch him and invite him to join in, she’d steal his toys and spin around asking him to play and through it all, as every little brother can attest, he endured Rosie’s cajoling and yes, I believe, he deeply appreciated it (though he’d never let her know).

Rosie had that effect on all of us. She could move her jowls and make us laugh. She’d wiggle her tail and curl her Boxer body in half and we’d have to giggle. She’d beg for a treat with the cock of her head and everyone caved at the expression. She’d walk her bent-legged trot and then bust out into a full run when the swallows dive-bombed her head — an invitation to all of us to be spontaneous, bold, and goofy all at the same time.

I am so thankful that Rosie was my friend. I’m thankful that she opened up her life and her family and let me spend very happy moments with them all. I’m thankful for our walks in the sun and snow and wind and rain — day in and day out — and I’m thankful for all the times we shared a cookie together.

If I have one regret it’s that Gretchen didn’t allow us to meet that first day she began walking Rosie. It would have given me one more year to have loved her.

You will be missed, Ms. Rosie but I will carry you with me every time I see a cat or bark at a crow or feel the bump of a body against my own. Don’t worry about your brother, Tyson. I will do my best to love him the way you did. Together we will hold your Rosie Outlook with us every moment of our short and magnificent lives.

Rest in Peace,

Rubin

Queasy…or in Spanish, Que Easy (What? Easy?)

I wish I could say this has been an easy week for me, but I have to admit, it’s been a struggle. I have, unfortunately, been dealing with a very upset tummy much to Gretchen’s consternation (and mine as well).

I have been a dog who has always had a very delicate constitution. It’s been quite a journey to figure out what I’ll eat and what my system will allow, but finally we got it under control and for the past month I’ve been eating more like my Lab side than my Doodle side.

Then it all went awry. I won’t go into the yucky details, but suffice it to say, we’ve had some late nights and we’re all pretty tired and worn out.

But duty calls and so we can’t exactly “call in sick” when we own our own business. Part of that business has been pet sitting and during this week, we’ve been spending our time at Rosie and Tyson’s house. Well, Gretchen has. I go home with Ann at night and she’s been taking care of me during those late, upset tummy nights.

I have to say that being sick isn’t any fun. But I’ve tried not to let it get in the way of my active and fun life. Even when we traveled to Port Townsend over the weekend, I tried to have as much fun as I could on the wooded trails with my pal, Dewey and take in the great beaches with Dewey’s brother, Buster.

Then my work week began with Rosie and Tyson, Monty, and Roux. They’ve each struggled with tummy upset so they did their best to wish me better days.

I guess the most difficult parts about being sick are that I’m not much bland diet eater. Cottage cheese, rice, boiled chicken, yogurt, pumpkin…they are not my favorite thing to eat so when Gretchen comes at me with a spoonful of something white I tuck my tail, throw back my ears, and if escape is possible, I take it.

But if I don’t eat, then my stomach gets more upset and it’s hard to go on my many walks for work because I’m constantly stopping to stretch out my achy belly or eat some grass.

And then there’s been the weather. I promised I wouldn’t talk about it anymore in this blog (now that is’t April), but it’s hard not to when the weather has gotten me down a bit too. In a word — RAIN…and yes, wind and cold. Being wet on top of being sick has made for a challenging week. And while I have some photos, I don’t have a lot because it’s been so wet. My apologies.

My apologies also to Woobie who we had to cancel walking this week because I had to go to the vet. While I missed seeing Woobie, I do love visiting my vet as she loves me, wants to help me, and is always very kind to me. She gave me all sorts of advice and some weird things — like slippery elm and oregano — to help soothe my tummy. It must be working because I have been feeling a bit better.

Of course, believe it or not, there are upsides to being sick. I know Gretchen really wants to give me a bath, but has held off because she knows I feel crummy. And when I feel this way, I sleep really close to my moms. I’m not the biggest cuddler, but when I feel like this, being close to my moms makes my tummy feel a tad bit better.

And I rest a lot. Rosie and Tyson, I’ve learned by hanging out with them at their house, rest and sleep a lot as well. And they are pretty adorable when they sleep. Rosie has her own HUGE round couch bed with 5 big pillows on it. Still she slides off in her slumber and her flews sag low.

Tyson, on the other hand, likes the small chairs at his house. He curls up like a cat and then rests his head on the arm of the chair. If there’s one thing these two have taught me this past week it’s how to take a load off!

And as you’ve most likely figured out, I haven’t done much blogging of late. I haven’t had all the energy I’ve needed to get my thoughts into words, but I’m slowly on the mend.

So I guess the biggest lesson I’ve learned has been that Queasy, isn’t easy by any means. But I keep moving forward, one paw at a time and now one meal at a time.

Soon,

Rubin

Embracing Spring

Have you ever tried to hold the wind? To wrap your arms around it and feel the fleshy wind close to your cheek or pressed against your belly? Have you ever cupped your hands (or paws) together and made a cave for the wind? Then tightened your fist around it to hold the puff in?

The pages of the seasons change with the wind. Chapters of rain or snow or even sunshine move with the gusts. The story moves when the trees bend in half and the clouds race across the sky and there is no way to hold that moment, to hold that power.

Photographs can’t do it justice. The billows of wind that buffet the house or push winter’s debris down the street get lost in the camera – blurred by trees and cars and earth and sky stuck in one click of a moment. A cloud blown across the sky is frozen in the frame and those moments of the wind’s magnificence are merely images of white and blue and gray, or of the crow holding tight to the tops of swaying trees.

This week we celebrated the Vernal Equinox with wind. It rattled the windows, shook the house, sent birds tumbling through the sky, and kept us awake early in the wee hours of the morning.

Monday was still winter. It rained so hard and so cold Gretchen had to come back for her rain gear, her mittens, and a hat. The wind was a whisper, but every once in awhile my curls ruffled and I planted my paws a bit firmer on the earth.

Tuesday was the official first day of spring and the wind announced the new season’s chapter. It was so cold I almost (but not quite) asked for my coat and I leaned into the wind with all my might. We tried to walk past buildings so they blocked the gusts, but still my tail flapped out of control and Gretchen’s eyes watered as we both braced against the blustery chill.

And just like that, the page turned and Wednesday brought us blue skies, big white clouds, and warmer temperatures. It didn’t last long, but the wind had done its job and spring felt like a possibility.

Of course by Wednesday night, the rain visited us once again and the temperatures dropped enough that all around us people watched the snow fall once again. No snow here, but winter was pushed just far enough that spring had a chance to give us glimpses of the future.

And I must pause (paws) because I’m beginning to feel like a dog weather forecaster and friends, this is not the profession I have envisioned for myself. Gretchen says I should relax — “We’ve had some pretty rough weather of late, Rubin.” — and she’s right, we certainly have.

I knew it was bad when I started sorting through old photographs and finding pictures of summers past. Oh what I’d give for a walk on the beach in the warmth of August or swimming in the lake and not freezing my curls off!

Still, I tried to muster up the courage to face this chapter of the seasons bravely. Yes, I even ventured into the lake for a swim and sat on the back porch with my buddy Monty to soak up the little warmth that came our way.

I spent time with my friends — Rosie and Tyson, Roux, Woobie, Paige, and yes Monty — and though we tried not to commiserate about the weather, it was a hot (not really though) topic! Roux even tried to catch the wind with her mouth.

I think Roux should have tried to catch the sun, but she doesn’t always listen to me.

The wind doesn’t listen either. Instead, I listen to it all night long and sometimes it lulls me into dreams filled with colors — yellow and orange and blues and greens — the next chapter of Spring!

Hold on, it’s coming! If there’s one thing the wind gave me this week was the hope that winter’s narrative will fade and spring’s time is just a few pages away.

Until then,

Rubin

Don’t Let the Flowers Fool You

You would think…after seeing this…

and this…

and this…

…that spring was here or at least just around that proverbial corner.

Well, I have news for you. Spring is still in bed. Covers over her head. Snoring so loudly she’s shaking snow from the clouds. Dreamland for Ms. Spring while Mr. Winter bellows on loudly and wildly, heavy boots and all.

We trudge on. One wet step after one cold step after, dare I say it, one snowy step. Gretchen tells me that years ago, before I was the center of the universe, she and Ann went on vacation in Mexico during an April break. It was warm and sunny there (as you can imagine) so when they got home, they couldn’t believe when the plane landed in a snowy Seattle.

It’s only March now and that was April, but I have to admit the story doesn’t give me much hope. “Could that happen again?” I asked Gretchen as we hiked through the muddy cold trails of Leschi Park.

“Anything is possible,” she replied with a huff and a puff as we climbed the long trail and stairs to the top of the hill, our breath rising white in the frigid air.

Sigh.

That’s it. There’s really nothing more to say than a big sigh from deep in my belly.

I don’t mind snow, but I want REAL snow not this white rain that stings my eyes and never sticks to anything but my curls.

Or I want warm spring weather with blue skies, white puffy clouds, and the colors of flowers in bloom.

This middle-earth-seasonal madness is, well, maddening.

Wind that makes our ears flap around…

Rain that makes everything muddy…like my whiskers…

Downpours that makes it difficult to take photographs…or worse, requires raincoats…

Days (like Tuesday) when 3 out of the 4 seasons (Fall, Winter, and Spring) barreled through in one day — sleet, hail, snow (flakes a big as human hands!), and blue skies and bright, chilly sunshine…

And cold cold cold temperatures. Ice on the porch. Icy wind. Days when we have to turn up the thermostat in the house to ward off frozen feet.

Yes, I’m complaining. Yes, I’m complaining about the weather. This is something Seattlites don’t do. It’s something visiting Californians do — complain about our weather — but it should not be something we do. And yet here I am doing it.

Sigh (again, only deeper and more forlorn).

Gretchen keeps telling me to buck up. “Spring is less than a week away!” she says with fake enthusiasm. “In like a lion, out like a lamb!” She shouts at me while putting on her long underwear, her wool socks, layers of shirts and sweaters, her snow boots, and her down coat under her rain gear.

Oy. And sigh. And oy again.

Through it all we keep working. Rosie and Tyson. Monty and Woobie. Roux, too. They all wanted to join Spring under her warm, downy covers. I want to join her too, but Gretchen says, “Dog walkers stop for no weather!” which feels grammatically incorrect but I’m too cold to tell her otherwise and she says, “Momma’s gotta put food on the table!” which makes me feel guilty for eating, and “Soon I’ll be wearing shorts and you’ll be swimming in the lake!” which makes me moan and go searching for the warm blanket on the couch.

I think I need to go find more of these…

These give me hope that this moody weather is merely a bad dream (a long one, but just a dream!)

Stay warm!

Rubin