April 27, 2009
Boys In The Hood
Hello there! My name is Oshi and I…
Hold on a minute there, buster, who says you get to be the one to blog today?
Well, I am the oldest, Perrito.
Yeah, but I don’t see why old has anything to do with it. We should go by who is cuter.
And your point?
I’m cuter so I should go first.
I think not, young man. I am by far the cutest, the most mature, and the wiser of the two of us so I should go first.
Are not.
Am so.
Are not.
Am so so so so so!
Wait a sec guys. Why can’t you just take turns?
Oh, good idea, Gretchen. But who should go first?
Rock Paper Scissors…that always does the trick!
(Silence)
Whatever. Oshi, you’ve introduced yourself, why not let Perrito take it from here for awhile?
Told you I was cuter.
Stop it.
Okay, I’m Perrito and today we got to go for a walk through the neighborhood. It was beautiful and sunny and I peed on everything I could find.
Great. That’s just great. Now everyone we’ll think we’re bad dogs.
Why? Dogs like to pee on things. Boy dogs especially. You do it.
Yeah, but I don’t talk about it…at least, not to people I don’t know.
We’re talking to people we don’t know here? I thought we were just talking to Gretchen.
See why he shouldn’t go first?
Guys, guys, guys. Don’t blow this opportunity. Okay, Oshi…how would you describe what we did today?
We walked. And that might sound boring to most, but walking is a great way to know what’s happening in the neighborhood.
Yeah, like who peed where…
See what I mean? He interrupts AND he talks about inappropriate things!
Continue Oshi, just continue…
Well, usually we walk to the tennis courts…
Oh I LOVE the tennis courts!
Perrito, give Oshi a chance.
Okay…sorry…
But today we walked up to the school because Gretchen had something she had to drop off.
I LOVE the school, I do, I do, I do!
Why’s that, Perrito?
Because the girls at the school think I’m really cute and they cuddle me and pet me and let me jump on their legs.
Do you like it, too Oshi?
Well yes, but I’m not as forward as Perrito. I did like the girl who asked if she could hold us, though. She was nice.
Yeah, really really nice. She told me I was cute.
Enough of the cute, already!
I’m just saying…
What’s your favorite part about the walks, guys?
Peeing on everything! And walking by the houses of my friends. Like Monty’s house. I thought for sure we were going to go in there today, but we didn’t. I peed on the bush outside his house though so he’d know we’d been there.
I’m just going to ignore his uncivil behavior, okay?
Now hold on just one minute. YOU peed on the same bush!
See, he doesn’t get it, does he, Gretchen. He doesn’t get that civilized dogs don’t talk about their bathroom habits in public!
Hey, Gretchen?
Yes, Perrito.
What does he mean by bathroom habits?
Don’t worry, Perrito. You two may look alike, but it’s good to let everyone know you are very, very different.
And that I’m the cutest.
Oh, jeez!
